Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
