she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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