don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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