I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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