Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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