God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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