This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
