I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he fucked my hip out of place.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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