we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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