3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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