my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
third nipple confirmed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
