dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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