Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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