I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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