Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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