I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
