we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
