thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
