Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
