sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
