hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
