Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
