I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
