I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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