sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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