what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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