I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
