Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize