Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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