i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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