It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
