Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
