this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
