wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
