I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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