plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
