Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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