not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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