i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
