i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
