nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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