yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
