i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
