You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
