my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
