My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
