I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
