Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
