i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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