Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
