did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
