Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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