i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
