You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
