and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
