it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This is not my ceiling
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
do herpes really smell.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
