guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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