im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
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