She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
