just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
