i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
