Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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