I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
