that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
