dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
